Putting G-d First

In Iyanla Vanzant's video, she talks about putting yourself first because you are the representative of G-d in this world in YOUR life.

This a very powerful message.

And putting oneself first  certainly means being healthy, taking care of ones' needs, etc. It reminds me of what is done during the Shabbat Friday night service of Kiddush. Jewish custom during Kiddush is to make blessings over wine to sanctify the day and to testify that G-d, Creator of the world rested on the seventh day/Shabbat. Typically, as the cups of wine are passed around, I was taught to drink the cup that comes to you first, rather than pass it on the next person. Why? When I get a chance to do a mitzvah or Torah commandment, don't pass it up! Do it as fast as possible! That is, take care of yourself first.

I think that is a message that a lot of people would like.

But what are we giving ourselves?

If we are use to junk food, abusive relationships, negative self talk, thinking negatively, unsupportive and condescending friends, etc. etc. that's gonna be a pretty sad story!! Maybe this video is merely an affirmation to continuing giving the self the crap it's been getting, but this time I come first?!!

Oye!!

But certainly not.

We should only give ourselves good. And it's not so hard to figure out what that 'good' is. And believing that good is possible is part of the work.

Well, with work, bills, going to the gym, trying to be the best we can be, connecting with supportive friends, prayer, picking up some items at the health food store, who was time to put others first, second, or third?? Just completing this assignment takes up a lot of time and a lot of energy, doesn't it?? (Do you know how long it is to twist my hair up at night??)

And yet, what about the story of Avraham Avinu when he went to sojourn in the land of Gerar? The king of Gerar, Avimelech had Avraham's wife taken. As punishment, G-d had "restrained every orifice of the household of Avimelech because of Sarah, the wife of Avraham."
Genesis/Bereshit 20:18.

Avimelech, hastily returns Avraham's wife to him and asks Avraham to pray for his healing. And Avraham does. And in the very next chapter, we find that Sarah, who had been barren for years, finally conceived.

From this, our Sages teach us that when we genuinely pray for another, we are answered first.
When we put another person before us, G-d takes note of our humility and not only does He tend to the person being prayed for, but He takes care of the one who prayed FIRST.

So, do I put another person first or not??

I learned from an amazing and wonderful rabbi,  Rabbi Shoff the following: It is good to be selfish in the 'self-ful' way. It's important to give ourselves good. But the challenge is including others in that intimate circle we call 'self.' To understand that although I don't need to give every penny and time to my fellow, that sincerely caring and praying for his welfare when he's in trouble is crucial to the fabric of humanity!!

If a fellow is down, lend a hand. And that doesn't mean helping out a drug addict who has years of criminal record in his pocket.  It doesn't mean giving hours and hours of time away from one's own children to hear the same old complaint of girlfriend Missy.

There has to be healthy borders.

A Torah Sage named Hillel the Elder once said, "if I am not for myself, then who will be for me? Yet, if I am for myself only, what am I?"

I think when life becomes G-d centered rather than self-centered, it is easier to find that balance. I am not the center of the universe. My wants and whims don't determine everything. There is a bigger picture. Yes, I must take care of myself in appropriate ways, and yes I must take care of others in appropriate ways.

I love hearing Iyanla Vanzant speak.

G-d bless!!!

The Tribe of Dan and Black Hair

In the Tanach, (Old Testament Bible) we learn that there were ten mighty tribes of Israel: Reuven, Yehuda, Levi, Shimon, Gad, Asher, Napthali, Dan, Issachar, Zevulun, Yosef, and Binyamin. We also learn that there are times when Yosef and Levi are not counted and Menashe and Ephraim, the sons of Yosef, are counted in their stead.

When the tribes traveled in the desert, they would always be in a formation: three tribes on each side of the Holy Ark. Now, I always heard that Dan was at the tail end of this formation. True and false. True, Dan was 'at the end,' but false in that the tribe of Dan was actually the leader of the end tribes on the northern side. Now, because Dan was 'at the end,' they had to deal with bandits and hooligans from other nations who would try to attack the ones at the back.

Dan had to be on his toes!!!

In modern times, the Ethiopian Jews claim to be descended from the tribe of Dan.

All this made me think of Natural Black Hair.

Because black hair is so curly and kinky, it is difficult for the natural oils to reach the ends and tips of the hair, resulting in a lot of breakage.

 Near the scalp and the roots is where most of the oils are. And the ends of our hair are constantly being attacked by the bandits and hooligans of dryness!!! Just like the tribe of Dan!

I don't know how Dan fought back, but I do know that to protect the ends of the hair requires lots of water and also oils to lock in the moisture. And what is water?? Our Jewish sages liken water to Torah, G-d's Word. So maybe, just maybe, Dan remained strong and mighty by saturating themselves with
G-'d's Word and of course lots of water...


G-d bless!!

Junks or Jewels...

So, it's like food....

Is having a healthy sexual life bland and tasteless??

Just like healthy eating brings vitality, power, and strength to the body, so will a healthy
sexual life...

Healthy is what gives life.

Unhealthy is what takes away life; like the junks

like porn, like masturbation, like sex outside of marriage, like spilling seed, like insensivity towards
ones spouse,

In every nook and corner, you'll read how it is good and helpful to release tension by pleasuring oneself, exploring oneself or what have you. This is what everyone says.

But the Torah says otherwise.

Hey, why you trying to control my life???

Is G-d trying to control your life? That's the great fear. But actually, far from it. In His love, G-d provides advice so that we can CHOOSE the jewels and stay far away from the junks that lead to spiritual nail fungus, diabetes, and cancer...

Get the picture?

And. well, golly do Jews have sex?? Do Noahides??

Listen, G-d doesn't tell a person not to eat b/c it's part of our makeup. We need to eat. And He's not telling us not to have sex. The Torah actually stresses the importance of marriage. In Genesis (2:18 ) it's written ,"it is not good that man be alone." When men and women are unmarried, they are more prone to fall into nasty habits like masturbation and spilling seed.  The seeds implanted in wo/man have a divine source, like everything in the world.

And is not meant to be thrown away for fleeting pleasure.

So, then what?? Are we doomed to hush our flaming passions into the somber chambers of a religious institution and watch forlornly as all our sexuality and spirit are squeezed out of us,  turning us into bland and dull-eyed monks??

Wouldn't you like to think so?

But if the question is never asked of what we SHOULD be doing, then yes, it will seem like it.

Just like how healthy eating at first seems like a cruel death for our taste buds!!

But it's not really death is it?? It's actually life. 

And it can taste good.

First, we need a healthy dose of curiousity to hear what G-d has to say about sexuality in the Torah....

G-d bless!!!